Massive family dinner, all sat round a huge table having a beautiful meal that my mum and step-dad slaved over. Everyone is happy and having a wonderful time, and I look like I'm loving it just as much as them. BUT I'm far from loving it.
Huge family meals are one of my worst nightmares as a recovering anorexic. You feel like there is so much pressure on you to eat as much as everyone else, and it's so difficult to deal with.
So how do you deal with it?!
1) eat only as much as you feel comfortable eating. Do not feel obliged to eat until you feel like you'll burst. Your family will understand.
2) try your best not to focus on the food, but focus on the people around you.
- Join in as much conversation is possible, and without knowing or realising so you will eat a little more when you aren't thinking so much about it.
3) Do not watch how much others are eating.
4) Dish out your own food: it keeps you in control and means that only the amount you want to eat will be on your plate and you will feel easier about eating it.
5) if you need to, take a break. Excuse yourself and go into another room for 5 minutes to compose yourself before going back in.
And finally 6) try to enjoy the time with the people and it may keep your concentration off your food!
It was harder than any non-anorexic can imagine being in that situation, but I made it through most of the meal.
(I fell ill from other reasons that stem from my long time as an anorexic and so had to go and lie down)
I love my family to death and I'm so glad that they support me as much as they can.
What we Ana's have to understand is that people find it very difficult to understand why we put ourselves, our bodies through so much just to look a certain way.
And while I was anorexic I thought I was acting normal cause I didn't know I had an eating disorder, I refused to accept that anything was wrong with me.
Looking back on everything I did I see exactly what I did to myself, my body, my family and friends. It was a life of self-torture for no actual reason but all in my mind, and all for control to look a certain way.
What you have to see is that it's a difficult thing to admit to, but once you have admitted there is an issue, then you can begin recovery the right way, not the way I did it, which I will share with you over time.
That's it for now folks,
Peace. X
